I received a free copy of the book Raising Boys By Design in exchange for an honest review. You can buy the book at Barnes & Noble or Amazon. As of the writing of this review Amazon has the lowest price for the book.
Well, let's start off with a little disclaimer here: This is a religious book and I am not a religious person. Now, that doesn't mean I can't provide an honest review. So, now on to the review!
The first thing about this book that really struck me was chapter 2 because of the horrendously ignorant and terrible advice the authors give in chapter 2. You see, at the end of chapter 2 the authors discuss "brain disorders" which they specify means autism, ADD/ADHD, sensory processing disorder, developmental delays, and male-oriented depression. That's all fine and well, but then they go on to state that except in "extreme" cases these conditions should never be diagnosed in children under 7 years of age. WTF!? As the mother of an autistic son this pisses me off more than words can explain. Early diagnosis gives you and your child more time to find services they may need to succeed in life. Early diagnosis also gives you more time to learn how to effectively advocate for your child and teach them to advocate for themselves. The world is a very ableist place and it can take some time to learn how to navigate the ups and downs of disability advocacy and to put together a team of educators and medical professionals who actually want to help your child succeed rather than marginalize and silence them. If you love your child do not put off getting them an evaluation or diagnosis just because some ignorant authors think you should. The authors of this book should feel extremely ashamed of themselves for providing such truly horrendous advice to parents.
On the topic of disability in this book, another thing the authors do terribly wrong in this book is associate autism with violence. Now, it is true that autistic kids can be aggressive if their needs are not being met and/or they are being mistreated by their caregivers (which is very common, unfortunately). The reality is that autistic people are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. Trying to associate autistic children with aggressive and violent behavior directly contributes to the murder and abuse of autistic children at the hands of caregivers. The authors of this book are contributing to the murder of children by making this false association. And the idea of not diagnosing depression when it first becomes apparent is part of the reason teen and pre-teen suicide rates are going up. The disgusting and ignorant ideas the authors have regarding disability in boys made it very difficult for me to read the rest of this book.
I did my best to read the rest of the book, even though the ableism in chapter 2 made me angry and showed clearly that the authors are ignorant about raising children. All I really got from the rest of the book is a bunch of gender stereotypes. It seems these authors really think that gender stereotypes should be enforced because of "god." There is one chapter supposedly about sexuality, but it's really just about puberty.
All in all, this is not a good book. If you're looking for a book that reinforces gender stereotypes and intermixes bible quotes this book is what you're after. If, however, you are looking a book with advice on how to successfully raise a well adjusted and healthy boy who won't become an inmate, look elsewhere because this book isn't it.
Well, let's start off with a little disclaimer here: This is a religious book and I am not a religious person. Now, that doesn't mean I can't provide an honest review. So, now on to the review!
The first thing about this book that really struck me was chapter 2 because of the horrendously ignorant and terrible advice the authors give in chapter 2. You see, at the end of chapter 2 the authors discuss "brain disorders" which they specify means autism, ADD/ADHD, sensory processing disorder, developmental delays, and male-oriented depression. That's all fine and well, but then they go on to state that except in "extreme" cases these conditions should never be diagnosed in children under 7 years of age. WTF!? As the mother of an autistic son this pisses me off more than words can explain. Early diagnosis gives you and your child more time to find services they may need to succeed in life. Early diagnosis also gives you more time to learn how to effectively advocate for your child and teach them to advocate for themselves. The world is a very ableist place and it can take some time to learn how to navigate the ups and downs of disability advocacy and to put together a team of educators and medical professionals who actually want to help your child succeed rather than marginalize and silence them. If you love your child do not put off getting them an evaluation or diagnosis just because some ignorant authors think you should. The authors of this book should feel extremely ashamed of themselves for providing such truly horrendous advice to parents.
On the topic of disability in this book, another thing the authors do terribly wrong in this book is associate autism with violence. Now, it is true that autistic kids can be aggressive if their needs are not being met and/or they are being mistreated by their caregivers (which is very common, unfortunately). The reality is that autistic people are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. Trying to associate autistic children with aggressive and violent behavior directly contributes to the murder and abuse of autistic children at the hands of caregivers. The authors of this book are contributing to the murder of children by making this false association. And the idea of not diagnosing depression when it first becomes apparent is part of the reason teen and pre-teen suicide rates are going up. The disgusting and ignorant ideas the authors have regarding disability in boys made it very difficult for me to read the rest of this book.
I did my best to read the rest of the book, even though the ableism in chapter 2 made me angry and showed clearly that the authors are ignorant about raising children. All I really got from the rest of the book is a bunch of gender stereotypes. It seems these authors really think that gender stereotypes should be enforced because of "god." There is one chapter supposedly about sexuality, but it's really just about puberty.
All in all, this is not a good book. If you're looking for a book that reinforces gender stereotypes and intermixes bible quotes this book is what you're after. If, however, you are looking a book with advice on how to successfully raise a well adjusted and healthy boy who won't become an inmate, look elsewhere because this book isn't it.
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