This post is for all autism parents out there. It is not an accusation against any of you. It is not an attack. It is not an attempt to silence you. It is a request from another parent. It is a call to action. It is a plea for justice and fairness.
In light of the recent Dr Phil interview of K. Stapleton regarding her murder attempt against her autistic daughter Issy there has been a hashtag introduced on social media: #JusticeForIssy. It was created to bring awareness to the injustice that exists when disabled children are murdered or abused. Some parents have been highjacking #JusticeForIssy to demand sympathy for Issy's abuser/mother or to demand more services. That's not okay.
Disabled people have value. Disabled people matter. It is not okay to kill disabled people. It is not okay to demand that someone who abused, murdered, or attempted to murder a disabled person be given lenience because the victim is disabled. If anything, we should demand harsher punishments for those who harm disabled people. It is not okay to demand that we be sympathetic to people who harm their disabled children.
Don't try to turn this into a discussion about services, either. When you do that you are saying that the safety and well-being of disabled children is contingent upon the services their parents are getting. You are taking the lives of disabled children hostage. You are metaphorically putting a gun to your child's head and telling the world "services now or I kill the kid!" That's how it comes across when you use crimes against disabled kids as a rallying call for services. It is dehumanizing to say the right of disabled people to live is contingent upon the services their parents receive. And that's not okay.
I'm not saying you can't have your discussion on services. You can absolutely have your discussion on services. You should have your discussion about services. But do not try and tie the services banner on this train. It devalues disabled lives. Have you discussion about services but don't bring up Issy Stapleton, Alex Spourdalakis, or any other disabled child who was abused or murdered by a parent or caregiver. And if someone else tries to bring up an abuse/murder case as justification of services SHUT THEM DOWN. Tell them it's not okay. Lack of services does not excuse murder or abuse. Don't let anyone say otherwise.
I know that I'm not saying anything new here. I know that many autistic adults have made this point before. But some parents have this fetish for walking in the shoes of abusers and murderers before judging. So I am saying this to you as the mother of a child like Issy. My son is like Issy Stapleton. I will not give you a list of the things my son has done when during meltdowns, but I will tell you my son is like Issy.
I will never harm my child. I will judge anyone who harms a child. Because if you are not actively part of the solution you are part of the problem!
In light of the recent Dr Phil interview of K. Stapleton regarding her murder attempt against her autistic daughter Issy there has been a hashtag introduced on social media: #JusticeForIssy. It was created to bring awareness to the injustice that exists when disabled children are murdered or abused. Some parents have been highjacking #JusticeForIssy to demand sympathy for Issy's abuser/mother or to demand more services. That's not okay.
Disabled people have value. Disabled people matter. It is not okay to kill disabled people. It is not okay to demand that someone who abused, murdered, or attempted to murder a disabled person be given lenience because the victim is disabled. If anything, we should demand harsher punishments for those who harm disabled people. It is not okay to demand that we be sympathetic to people who harm their disabled children.
Don't try to turn this into a discussion about services, either. When you do that you are saying that the safety and well-being of disabled children is contingent upon the services their parents are getting. You are taking the lives of disabled children hostage. You are metaphorically putting a gun to your child's head and telling the world "services now or I kill the kid!" That's how it comes across when you use crimes against disabled kids as a rallying call for services. It is dehumanizing to say the right of disabled people to live is contingent upon the services their parents receive. And that's not okay.
I'm not saying you can't have your discussion on services. You can absolutely have your discussion on services. You should have your discussion about services. But do not try and tie the services banner on this train. It devalues disabled lives. Have you discussion about services but don't bring up Issy Stapleton, Alex Spourdalakis, or any other disabled child who was abused or murdered by a parent or caregiver. And if someone else tries to bring up an abuse/murder case as justification of services SHUT THEM DOWN. Tell them it's not okay. Lack of services does not excuse murder or abuse. Don't let anyone say otherwise.
I know that I'm not saying anything new here. I know that many autistic adults have made this point before. But some parents have this fetish for walking in the shoes of abusers and murderers before judging. So I am saying this to you as the mother of a child like Issy. My son is like Issy Stapleton. I will not give you a list of the things my son has done when during meltdowns, but I will tell you my son is like Issy.
I will never harm my child. I will judge anyone who harms a child. Because if you are not actively part of the solution you are part of the problem!
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